Scared of heights?

20 Monday Feb 2012

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We all have to live with fear.

Its influence though varies from one to the next, as for each of us we respond to it in one of two ways – we embrace it, or we succumb to it.

I recently abseiled for the first time during a weekend away with our church youth group. As I climbed to the ladders top I grew increasingly more aware of both the height I was climbing and of how my fear was escalating.

As I reached the top and looked out across the skyline into the distance, the scale of the challenge – the impending descent – befell me.

“What an amazing view.” I said boldly. Yet I was afraid!

It was in that moment, as I made eye contact with the instructor responsible for harnessing me before I leapt, that I made a choice.

Though admittedly my decision was hugely influenced by pride – as there was a 14-year-old girl challenging me to a race – I did choose to acknowledge my fear and continue.

All of us have to live with fear. And equally, we all know that it’s our fear that can be the barrier preventing us from realising our dreams.

So when faced with our next challenge, whether that be descending from a 12 metre high wall, asking for a pay rise, or taking a step of faith towards pursuing a life-long goal, the choice is ours.

We either choose to acknowledge our fear and continue, or stop what we’re doing in response to it.

Get the most from reading the Bible

13 Monday Feb 2012

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Reading and getting the most from scripture is the heart desire of all who have come to know Jesus as Lord. But equally true is the challenge we so often face in approaching it consistently for growth towards maturity.

J. C. Ryle, in his book Practical Religion gives some helpful tips.

1. Begin reading your Bible this very day.

Simply put, Ryle says the most profitable approach is to just do it! Start. Don’t wait. Take the holy book and resolve to read it. Today. And then everyday.

2. Read the Bible with an earnest desire to understand it.

Rather than it becoming a daily ‘task’ to cross off our tick list, Ryle says that when reading the Bible, the most important thing is gaining understanding. Quality of understanding, as opposed to quantity of reading, is key.

3. Read the Bible with child-like faith and humility.

Approaching the Bible with a determination to believe it ‘as is’, as opposed to questioning its content with cynicism or doubt shaped by our own prejudices, is most essential when reading the Bible.

4. Read the Bible in a spirit of obedience and self-application.

To give consideration to how each verse applies to our daily lives – our attitudes, choices and behaviour – along with a willingness to put into practice that which is brought to our understanding, should be the intent of every reader of God’s word.

5. Read the Bible daily.

Fresh revelation, insight, knowledge and provocation from God’s word comes to readers who resolve to search out God’s wisdom daily, with diligence, consistency and care.

6. Read all of the Bible — and read it in an orderly way.

Reading scripture systematically, and in its entirety, gives us a right and complete perspective of God. With this comes an understanding of his word, its meanings, and how we are to rightly apply it.

7. Read the Bible fairly and honestly.

Accepting the word of God ‘as is’, without being subject to either our own views, or the forced interpretations of others, should be our approach to determining what each verse means.

8. Read the Bible with Christ continually in view.

In all our reading, seek to identify how Jesus Christ is revealed. And I would add, allow fresh revelation from God’s word to compel you to worship the saviour!

Read Erik Kowalker’s full post for more from these tips from J. C. Ryle.

I’m not a badman, I just walk with a limp!

03 Friday Feb 2012

Posted by in Miscellany, Personal Development, Relationships

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If you see me walking along the streets of South East London today, please don’t confuse my bounce* with being intent on intimidating passers-by, contemplating snatching a handbag, or robbing a convenience store.

My bounce (or limp), is in fact the unfortunate result of pulling my calf muscle whilst on an early morning run.

To state the obvious, we all too easily form judgements based on outward appearances – which sadly results in not taking the time or effort to understand others.

In relationships, our priority should always be to understand before being understood. Yet the challenge we face is that to know the ‘other’ requires self-denial, commitment and consistency.

But most importantly, it requires a willingness to identify and acknowledge our prejudices, to lay aside our own agendas, and a genuine heart to accomplish our goal of embracing and celebrating difference.

So next time you see someone limping, refrain from making a judgement based on your own experiences, what you’ve watched on TV, or from the formed opinions of others, as these are the filters through which we see the world and those in it, and they’re often unhelpful.

Instead, step towards them, bridge the gap, ask them about the cause of their limp, and you may be surprised to discover that in reality they actually have a spring in their step.

*For those unfamiliar with the term ‘bounce’, or ‘bouncing’, it can be defined as a manner of walking often associated with a ‘badman’ – one involved in criminal activities.

We reproduce what we are

30 Monday Jan 2012

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It can be a scary thought to consider that we reproduce what we are.

As a father this has often brought me to place of self-reflection and been the topic of much discussion with my wife.

For as with parenting, as those who lead, its important to consider two things;

  1. who we choose to follow, and
  2. what we model as leaders.

It’s a given that we should seek to follow those who display good character. Women and men of courage and integrity. Those committed to a purpose beyond themselves, and who take responsibility for their own growth and the development of others.

And as we lead, we ought to consider what it is that we model.

For as we show loyalty others will be loyal. As we show courage others will attempt exploits. As we remain transparent, others will show integrity. As we graciously respond to failure and success, so too will others become those who overcome.

So as we look in the mirror we should ask ourselves the question ‘Who am I following, and what do others see in me?’ and determine to be those willing to learn from the best in order to reproduce in others the very things we desire to see in ourselves.

Of course, this is a life-long process. And as such the biggest mistake we can make is to measure our worth by the degree of success we experience.

Instead, in knowing that we reproduce what we are, we ought to focus our attention on being ourselves, and being increasingly more intentional about taking responsibility for who we are.

If doing so will have significant impact in all areas of our lives, what more motivation do we need?

Three success killers

23 Monday Jan 2012

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It’s in us all – a desire to succeed, achieve, and make a contribution.

Yet, not experiencing a sense of this can result in much frustration. A feeling of continually running into brick walls. Of never being quite certain of, or understanding why.

And yet, along with this frustration – for many of us – is in equal measure the reality of not being quite sure what to do about it. I know. I’ve been there!

So here are 3 reasons why I think we too often live with these tensions.

1. Not knowing what we want

Do you know what you want? Though a simple question, the reality is that many of us struggle to answer it.

Yet without a clear vision for our lives we’re prone to drift from one thing to the next. We end up going nowhere and accomplishing nothing of any real value.

Whether it’s learning to play an instrument, losing weight, or getting a new job, knowing what we want is essential to success, as we’re able to channel our energy and resources in the right direction and increase our chances of achievement.

2. Not having a plan

It may seem obvious but I know from personal experience how easy it is to plough away without having a plan, and this can be the determining factor between failure and success.

At one level it’s easy to have an idea, to have a vision, and to dream big, but as many would know, seeing these become a reality is an altogether different thing.

So moving from vision to reality requires a plan, as our vision won’t be realised by osmosis. We need to take action, and this is where having a plan – our roadmap – is important.

3. Not having support

Let’s not be naive – success can’t be achieved in isolation. Individualism isn’t cool – we all need others to accomplish our goals.

There are huge benefits of having the support of others. Exploring the feasibility of our plans and drawing on their expertise and resources are just two.

But probably the most important of all is accountability, as knowing we’ll be asked about our progress is a healthy motivator to get us doing the stuff consistently and reaching our goals.

Next step!

So, there you have it. Now all you need to do is answer three questions; what do you want, how will you get it, and what support do you need?

Once you’ve answered these questions, written your goals down, and determined in your mind to go for it, get started!

Go on – go for it!

Develop habits that increase productivity

16 Monday Jan 2012

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Time to think reflectively, creatively and strategically is a significant challenge when balancing work with family commitments.

Tony Schwartz, president and CEO of The Energy Project, gives a helpful presentation of practices (rituals), that we can develop in order to accomplish our goals without losing our minds.

He explains that developing these specific behaviours and practicing them at precise times, results in them becoming automatic and less energy depleting.

Here they are:

Keep a set bedtime

Having a regular pattern of sleep, a consistent number of hours sleep a day, ensures we have enough energy for being productive.

Prioritise one key task a day

In aiming to accomplish one key task a day, at the time of day when we have the most energy and the least distractions, ensures we produce more efficiently.

List new ideas and tasks throughout the day

Making a list of things that pop into our heads or brought to our attention throughout the day prevents us feeling preoccupied with a list of things to do, that will not only distract us, but become an invisible burden.

Question yourself when triggered

Reflective practice aimed at identifying what we’re communicating, and a willingness to make changes, will not only model integrity, but will ensure our relationships with others remains intact.

“A ritual consciously created is an expression of fierce intention. Nothing less will do in these demanding and complex times if determined to take control of your life.” Tony Schwartz

Watch the video here.

Keep on ‘doing’

09 Monday Jan 2012

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Though on one level it’s easy to comprehend that it’s in the simple act of ‘doing’ – practising and working hard – that we’re able to navigate towards excellence in what we do, for those who want to fulfil their life mission, it’s possible that the very act of doing remains one of the biggest hurdles of all.

Legendary NBA basketball player and entrepreneur, Michael Jordan once said, “I’ve always believed that if you put in the work, the results will come.”

We’d agree this is true, but also know that for many (and I’d place myself at the top of my list) the discipline of diligent and intentional action is the hardest challenge towards reaching our goals of all.

Partly because there are multiple distractions vying for our time, energy and focus*, but also because we encounter frustrations, disappointments, discouragement, and a host of other barriers that trip us along the way.

Yet equally, we’d do ourselves no favours in denying that much of our inability to achieve is the result of unsubstantiated fears and laziness. Fortunately, it’s in our ability to acknowledge these that we’re able to find hope and move forward.

And acknowledge we should – quickly!

Admittedly, at times it’s easier to give up – to stop believing and instead walk the easy road – the path trodden by many others which by in large requires very little effort.

But to realise our God-given potential, we need to keep acting. We need to keep believing. We need to keep doing; taking forward steps and working hard to develop all that we’re the fortunate beneficiaries of.

For whatever our talents are, they’re for purpose.

What this looks like for one will be very different for another, but nevertheless, we’re all required to do, and keep doing so consistently.

*Tweeting, television, and procrastination included.