We’re all inspired by courageous people. As each overcome their fears to accomplish great feats, their courageous stories of valiance are rich, compelling, and moving.

Not only are we inspired by courageous individuals, but we too desire to stride boldly in the face of our fears and live life to the full. And that’s what we’re supposed to do – we’ve been given one life in which to make a difference.

But what sets some apart from others is their determination to overcome fear and walk into the fire that requires courageous living.

So next time you’re faced with your fears, consider these three steps to being courageous:

#1. Allow yourself to be courageous

Without breaking free from limiting thoughts, you’ll never take risks.

The result is that you’ll stagnate and grow discontent. Moving forward requires you to recognize and discard the negative voices in your head preventing you from courageous risk taking.

Once recognized, these thoughts need to be replaced with wholesome, constructive and evidence based ones.

“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.” Muhammad Ali

Having done this, allow yourself to take risks – acts of courageous faith.

#2. Understand that courageous living isn’t easy

No worthwhile accomplishment comes without a degree of sacrifice. Becoming your best ‘you’, requires experiencing a level of suffering, setback, and pain.

In fact, I’m personally encouraged and reassured that – whether the result of my own poor choices or otherwise – some of my greatest life lessons and personal growth will be the result of such experiences.

Whether starting a business, raising a family, training for a marathon, or building a strong marriage, there’ll always be a cost to you – physically, emotionally and spiritually.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Courageous acts are the result of being prepared to step out and take responsibility. Though not easy, without a willingness to move away from what you’re comfortable with, your ability to achieve your true potential will be limited.

#3. Courageous living requires overcoming fear

Doing something for the first time is always scary!

Whether its public speaking, asking someone on a date, attending a job interview, or approaching a contentious issue, everybody experiences fear – it’s normal.

However, the difference between the courageous and not so courageous, and those who realise success and those less successful, is that they refuse to be held by fear.

“I learned that courage wasn’t the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who doesn’t feel afraid, but he who conquers it.” Nelson Mandela

As you recognise your fears make a commitment to use them as a catalyst towards success. Rather than allowing your fears to paralyse you, having asked some helpful questions to challenge them, don’t hesitate to embrace the thing you’re fearful of.

Some questions that challenge your fears can prove helpful. For example,

• Is my fear rational or based on fiction? – What is the worse possible outcome, and how likely is that to actually happen?
• Is the motivation for my fear internal or external? – Am I worried about my capabilities or the opinions of others?
• Is there anything I can do to make me less fearful? – Could I better prepare myself?

Being courageous requires faith. And stepping into the unknown means being willing to embrace uncertainty. Though fear will always be present, when you decide to live a courageous life, it doesn’t have to stop you in your tracks.

Despite the challenges life presents, having a courageous faith – one which says, ‘What the heck, I trust in One bigger than myself!’ – will help you face your fears and stride confidently towards accomplishing your own feats; great and small!

Your thoughts

What courageous steps have you taken recently? How did you overcome your fears? What was the outcome? Share your comments!

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A commitment to having a good attitude in tough times makes all the difference. Despite this, we often choose an attitude that is unhelpful.

We all have bad days, and we all experience occasions when the burden of circumstance weighs down on our shoulders. Unfortunately, this is life.

During these times we can find ourselves asking questions like, “Why me?” — only to again discover their unhelpful nature.

A right attitude is important

It was Albert Einstein who famously defined insanity as,

“Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Any expectation that the same behaviour will bring about a different result in a similar situation is tantamount to madness, and if we’re not careful, can become habitual. The same could be said for continually choosing a wrong attitude in difficult times.

For many — myself included — there’s a danger of approaching life’s challenges with an unproductive attitude.

Some examples may include:

• Blame – failing to take responsibility for your part in the situation you find yourself in, and pointing the finger at others.
• Denial – not accepting your present reality, its potential consequences, or taking steps to prepare for the worst.
• Escapism – allowing distractions to take priority, rather than giving time and energy to address the issue at hand.
• Isolation – withdrawing and not seeking support, advice and encouragement from those around you.
• Giving up – allowing yourself to lose hope in the possibility of things working out for good, and instead becoming pessimistic.

Your attitude is your choice

Believe it or not, your willingness to accept responsibility for your actions will have more impact on your ability to handle life’s challenges than you think. The truth is, though you may not be able to choose life’s obstacles, you can always choose your attitude and your responses to them.

The decision to have either a good attitude towards your situation, or to play the victim, is entirely yours.

Of course, there will be occasions when in spite of your best efforts and plans, circumstances will be beyond your control. The story of Job as explored by John Piper being just one example.

But ordinarily, its not fate, karma, luck, or destiny that determine the outcome of the circumstances you find yourself in, it’s you. And it’s only when you accept responsibility for your choice of attitude; that you’ll begin to see and experience life’s challenges differently.

When faced with challenge or upset, burying your head in the sand, blaming others, or getting angry, will make no difference. And sadly, even taking good, thought through, and strategic action, can also prove fruitless in those situations that are beyond your control.

The reality is, once the cogs start to turn, there are some things that are simply outside of your power or capability to be changed. In such cases, its better to accept your problems and live in the hope of a better future, than it is to allow yourself to be overcome by stress.

You either crack on, or crack up!

Choosing your attitude is empowering

Though your choices can be limited, you continue to have significant power. You have power to choose your response, to decide whether to succumb to cynicism, fear or doubt, and most importantly, to determine your attitude.

Knowing you have a choice about the way you think is a powerful realisation.

With the right mindset life’s challenges present opportunities for personal growth and development. And finding them can be as simple as asking more helpful and empowering questions. For example,

• “What am I learning through this?”
• “How could others benefit from my learning?”
• “Where are new opportunities opening up?”
• “What am I now open to considering?”

Having considered this, when faced with life’s inevitable obstacles, not only should you give thought to solutions, but also to your attitude. For in choosing a right attitude, you regain personal power.

How do I do this? By keeping your eyes on the big picture, remembering that your troubles are temporary when compared to eternity, and by being mindful that your attitude and behaviour — particularly in the midst of challenge — are indicative of your ever developing character.

Over to you…

When faced with difficulty, what’s your attitude of choice? How helpful have you found your normal choice of attitude? Does it need to change?

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The bigger the smile the better!

Despite the ineffectualness of worrying, when faced with crisis, we often give an imbalanced proportion of our time and energy to it.

Worrying is a waste of time

Over years I’ve learnt that giving emotional and mental energy to things outside of my control is a waste of time. When faced with a difficulty or problem, my default was too often to start worrying and become overly anxious.

This always proved pointless.

“Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning.” Winston Churchill

There’s great insight in Winston Churchill’s observation. For if we gave as much time to creative thinking as we did to worrying, we’d devise significant plans to create change.

Worrying doesn’t change your situation! And sages of all generations have taken wisdom from the Bible to reinforce the notion that worrying fails to bring about positive outcomes of any kind.

Knowing this, why do we still do it? Habit maybe?

Worrying about people’s opinions is a waste of time

If for a moment you considered the things you have control over, you’ll not be surprised to discover that the list is short. In relation to your work or desired future, you’ve actually got very little control over a number of things.

Think about it. You’re powerless to determine whether your creative efforts, proposals, or ideas — regardless of how mediocre or great — will be liked by their recipients. Opinion and likeability is objective.

The truth is, some will love them, some will hate them. Few may value them, and many may appreciate them. It’s all relative, and more importantly, out of your control.

But rather than allowing this to be a cause of unnecessary stress, use this reality to help fine tune your priorities.

Instead of worrying about what you can’t control, give your best energy to the things where you have the greatest influence — your attitude, disciplines, willingness to accept responsibility for mistakes, and your personal growth. All of which will significantly impact your long-term success.

Besides these, prioritise other things of significant value that only you can do. For example, being the best mother to your child, a faithful husband to your wife, a loving wife to your husband, a studious learner for your tutors, or a conscientious employee for your boss.

Only you can do these things — day in, day out — and as a result, influence positive and successful outcomes.

Why exert energy on worrying?

Exerting energy on things outside of your control doesn’t add up. Focus rather on continuing to do what you do. And above all, enjoy doing it.

Whether you’re a doctor, teacher, parent, or creative of any type, simply do what you need to do — give your gift, use your talents, and make your contribution.

For it’s your gift that the world needs, as there are those who’ll be influenced by your willingness to share.

So keep giving, and stop worrying about what you can’t control.

Over to you…

Do you ever catch yourself worrying about things outside of your control? How do you manage yourself? Share your thoughts or ideas in the comments!

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We all face problems — sadly, sometimes more than we’d like. Family, work, and life in general, each have a tendency to throw them our way.

I admit, I’m not always good at dealing with life’s problems. And being honest, my threshold for difficulty isn’t always as high as I’d like. When problems arrive, at times, coping with them is the last thing I want to do.

Like recently, upon facing the reality of our newly purchased Renault being diagnosed by a specialist dealer as being, “not roadworthy”, I wanted to cry. As a family of six (plus one dog), this wasn’t news I wanted to hear. It presented two main problems.

Firstly, the huge inconvenience to family commitments and routines proved to be much cause of frustration. Secondly, having spent thousands to purchase it, the financial hit — repairs and a replacement vehicle — doesn’t bear thinking about.

Whether we like them or not, problems need to be addressed. So, in light of the problems we faced with our vehicle, here are five things you can do to address life’s little hiccups, that are sure to give results.

#1. Be honest about your problems

Seeing your problems for what they are is an essential first step in resolving them. When faced with a difficult situation, you’ll gain nothing by burying your head in the sand — it won’t help!

Objective observation of your situation, and clear definition of what your problems are, will better prepare you to face them.

#2. Don’t complain about your problems

Having gained clarity about the problems you’re facing, the next thing is to avoid the temptation to complain. Though complaining may appear cathartic in the short-term, the stark reality is that whining brings no long-term relief.

Complaining will not cause your problems to fritter away. It simply compounds them, and in the process, causes you to become fatigued. That said, constructive complaints may be required to resolve your problems.

#3. Look for solutions to your problems

Having avoided the enticing nature of complaining, seeking solutions to your problems is the proactive — and right — response. This will most likely involve doing some research, gathering the opinions of those you know and trust, and asking for help and expert advice.

I once read that its important to,

“Focus 90% of your time on solutions, and only 10% of your time on problems.”

Attaining possible solutions will give you a blueprint from which to determine any number of plans of action. This will also help relieve any anxiety associated with your problems, as you’ll feel a greater sense of control.

#4. Decide what to do about your problems

With possible solutions in hand, you’re now able to identify what plans will best resolve your problems. The key here is to set goals that are ethical and achievable.

Be mindful too, that with any number of options at your disposal, it’s possible to get waylaid with choice. It’s at this point that you need to be decisive; not deterred by fear or procrastination.

#5. Commit to dealing with your problems

Now you’ve come this far, it’s clear that you’re motivated to address your problems and move on. This is good. Your willingness to bite the bullet and take action is what separates you from those who do, and those who want to do.

A commitment to addressing your problems is guaranteed to move you towards getting the results you want — in any situation.

Truth is, your problems may not be resolved

With all problems there’ll be factors outside of your control. What does this mean?

It means that although taking the previous steps will place you in a strong position, despite your best plans and efforts, there’s no guarantee that your problems will be resolved as you’d desire. And you’ll need to prepare yourself for this possibility.

If this is true, the challenge for you is having the strength of character to continue doing what is right, despite not getting the outcome you hoped for.

Over to you…

What approach do you take to facing problems? How would you advise someone facing a challenging situation? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

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Mahatma Ghandi said, “A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.” This being true, intentionally critiquing your negative thoughts has the power to change your life.

Over a period of months, I’ve scrutinized my thought habits. Doing so has helped me identify both positive and negative thoughts, and give consideration to automatic self-talk and attitudes.

What I’ve discovered is a relationship between my negative thoughts and my levels of confidence and willingness to pursue a goal.

For example, I’d say, “I’m not good with numbers”, or, “Why blog, what have you got to say that’s worth sharing?” The effects of both were clear. Firstly, I avoided doing budgets – not helpful. Secondly, I procrastinated in sharing my written thoughts and learning. Neither were my desired outcomes.

You too may find that your thought patterns aren’t supportive of your pursuit in some worthwhile endeavour. It may be thoughts of not being a good parent, that you’re too old to get a job, or that you’re too unfit to start exercising. Each, if unchallenged, can prove counter-productive.

Having recognised that negative thoughts could be preventing you from reaching for better, just as I’m learning to do, you may also want to consider challenging any destructive thinking habits.

In knowing that awareness of your unhealthy or negative thoughts is vital to your well-being, here are five steps to keeping a handle on them.

#1. Identify your negative thoughts

Recognizing your negative thoughts is the most important step to managing them. Consciously increasing your awareness of negative thoughts and their disruptive impact will help in motivating you to take control of them.

#2. Be motivated to stop your negative thoughts

Being intentional about stopping your negative thoughts is the second most important step to challenging them. If you’re not motivated to change them, you’ll continue to live with their subsequent destructive consequences.

#3. Know the history of your negative thoughts

Understanding that your negative thoughts are birthed from past experience is key. What’s more important though, is being conscious that it’s your interpretation of previous events that fuels your negative thoughts, not the events themselves.

#4. Decide to have positive rather than negative thoughts

“We are what we believe we are.” C. S. Lewis

You’ll always have thoughts – the inevitability of thinking is something you’re unable to prevent. However, whether you want to live out of the experience of positive or negative thoughts is your choice. Taking charge of your negative thoughts by reframing them into more productive ones is a way of handling them.

#5. Address your negative thoughts patiently

Over the course of your life negative thoughts become automated.

As a result, it could take time to change them into more helpful patterns of thinking. Knowing this, it’s important to go easy on yourself.

Patiently consider the process of change and allow time to reach your desired outcome without being over critical or hard on yourself.

Over to you…

What impact have negative thoughts had on you? How do you manage them? Share you thoughts in the comments!

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Routine helps with life management. Having a plan then, is vitally important to maintain health, focus, and productivity.

I appreciate opportunities to travel, as it’s something I’d always wanted to do as a child. So visiting the Big Apple with Mel for the next few days excites me. However, without being intentional, being away from home, could impact my daily routine.

Expectations and journey

Having arrived around midday Thursday, at first glance, New York was almost everything I’d expected it to be — big, busy, and grey! I’d anticipated bright lights, but overcast would be more accurate a description. I’m certain an evening walk will remedy my disappointment.

Our flight from London Heathrow was good. We read, napped, and watched an on-flight film. Mel was in hysterics at a comedy she was watching — I love to see her laugh!

We landed safely — obviously! — before boarding an Air Train that took us from JFK Airport to Grand Central Station (via the subway). Having watched so many films where scenes had been shot at these locations, it felt surreal.

After walking — what felt like — several miles in the wrong direction, we finally arrived at our hotel to a room with not one, but TWO flat screen TV’s. I can only assume that guests like to watch multiple channels at once!

Not for me, thanks. My short channel hop exposed me to nothing but rubbish — or should I say — garbage. Though I’ll give another attempt at discovering something, lets say, more interesting, my next couch visit will most likely be characterised by me sitting with a book in hand.

Keeping to routine (where possible!)

Knowing that simple changes to my daily routine can derail me, I’ve learnt to be intentional about preparing for them in advance. As such, I’ve put the following five things in place during our short stay:

1. Connecting with our children. Our relationship with our children is important to us. We want them to know they’re loved, valued and thought of. Daily emails to encourage, express love, and update them on what we’re doing, in addition to a Skype call, is on our list of priorities.
2. Sharing meals. Our health is important to us, so having been warned about the food portions served, we’ve determined to share meals and buy more if needed — we’ll also treat ourselves, I’m sure!
3. Exercise. Maintaining a good level of fitness helps keep me energized, alert, more in control of stress, and motivated, so I’ve brought our Gymboss to ensure we’re able to do some High-Intensity workouts.
4. Time to write my journal. Journalling, a discipline I practised years ago, is one that I’ve picked up again more recently. Not dissimilar to blogging, I find it helps me to gain clarity of my thoughts, feelings, and make more sense of my world. And, before you say anything, it’s not for girls!
5. Time to read. Reading helps me relax and exposes me to a greater understanding of things internal, external, and from other perspectives.

Let the day begin (well, continue)

Today we’ll enjoy the first of two bus tours around this city, which we’re really excited about. I plan on being a truly bona-fide tourist with camera in hand.

Your thoughts

Have you ever been to New York? Where would you recommend we visit during our short stay?