Differences will inevitably arise, but a successful relationship requires a husband and wife to work in unity. With this in mind, its important to consider what couples need to agree on for a healthy marriage.
For a healthy marriage, there are certain things that couples need to see eye to eye on. If they don’t, the chances of marital success decline.
I’ve learnt there are a number of issues that my wife and I can ‘agree to disagree on’, as they’re not detrimental to the strength of our relationship. Whether the kitchen utensil used for frying an egg is called a spatula or fish slice, is just one example.
However, over the years we’ve also discovered a number of areas that we can’t afford to disagree on. In this post, I’ll share three key agreements for a healthy marriage.
#1. In a healthy marriage, couples agree to be truthful
Trust is the cornerstone of all healthy relationships. It’s not always easy, but truthfulness is necessary if you want your marriage to succeed. Though there are some things a husband should never say to his wife, your willingness to tell the truth is important.
Being truthful hasn’t always been easy for us. On occasion, disclosure has been painful. However, honesty has always proven helpful in the long run, and resulted in the strengthening of our relationship.
Communicating the truth may result in tears, upset, and even conflict. Yet, despite the potential consequences of an issue raised, a healthy marriage requires a commitment to being truthful with one another.
#2. In a healthy marriage, couples agree to prioritise one another
A reason for marital break down is couples growing apart. The demands of parenting, work, caring for elderly parents, and other life distractions; can result in the leading of separate lives.
“A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt everyday.” Andre Maurois
A commitment to prioritizing one another is essential in strengthening your relationship. In response, we’ve formed a habit of weekly date nights, as this reflects our relationship being a priority, and helps us maintain a healthy marriage.
The focus of our marriage time — quality. We give one another our undivided attention; free from life’s demands and distractions.
During our times, we do any number of things, including:
- Reflecting on the things we enjoy about one another
- Sharing and talking about dreams and aspirations
- Making love
- Celebrating our shared history
- Exploring strong emotions (e.g. excitement, grief, joy)
- Playing games
- Watching films (often a romantic comedy of sorts!)
- Eating a meal
Intentionally focusing on building a healthy marriage, by setting aside quality time, is key to its success.
Prioritizing one another develops intimacy, builds trust, and keeps your romance alive. Friends, family, and any children you may have, should know this too.
#3. In a healthy marriage, couples agree that divorce is not an option
Despite there being cases when divorce is necessary, in a healthy marriage, couples agree that permanent separation isn’t open to discussion.
Other than in exceptional instances, such as abuse or unfaithfulness, for which support towards a resolution can be sought, husbands and wives should determine not to entertain the idea of divorcing.
Removing the ‘D’ word from your marital vocabulary — in spite of any difficulties — gives an assurance of your commitment to one another. This increases the chances of successfully building a healthy marriage.
In agreeing that divorce isn’t an option, you communicate your intent and willingness to resolve issues at all costs — ‘for better and for worse’.
Commitment to a healthy marriage
Marriage requires effort, patience, compromise, and a willingness of heart. Your motivation and commitment to the three key agreements will determine its success.
Agreeing on all three, will result in a greater sense of trust, understanding, security, and purpose in your relationship; leading to a successful and healthy marriage.
Over to you…
What would you add to the list of things couples need to agree on for a healthy marriage? Write your thoughts in the comments below!
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